We will become the person we need to be while climbing to the top of the mountain. There will be set backs, challenges, obstacles, disappointments and possible injuries along the way. However when we overcome those challenges we build the strength we need to live, breath, survive and stay at the top. And here’s the crazy thing…if we every have to come down from the top of the mountain we know we have the strength, the ability and the know how to get to the top again. 😀
A Very Good Day
It is 7:31 am…
It is still very early in the day and I have made a decision to have a great day. I honestly believe that many things in life are like that…meaning that you just have to decide what something is going to be and make it happen. I have to decide I am going to lose weight and make it happen. I have to decide to become more organized and make it happen. I have to decide to spend more time with my little munchkins and make it happen. I have to decide to grow my company and then make it happen.
It’s funny to think about how much control we have over our life and yet we don’t use the power of that control to build the life we want. I use the term funny but it’s really not funny it’s actually sad that we do not take control of our lives and just go make it happen. People say that it’s not that simple but in many situations it really is that simple. For example I have been doing really well on my dietary choices however yesterday I chose to eat dairy and I chose to eat bread and because I of that choice I woke up this morning feeling puffy and less clear thus I am choosing to do better today. I am choosing to only put things in my body that are good for me and also make me feel good long term. It is always a choice.
I am also choosing to start and finish that online course I bought. I am choosing to clean off my desk, clean my car and do my follow up calls. These things are all choices and they are choices that help me have a very good day.
Do it now!
Nothing and no one is going to do it for you! The time is right now! It amazes me how many people have dreams and aspirations and they’re still waiting for the right moment for it to happen. It will never happen if you don’t make it happen 🙂 I really should put an exclamation point at the end of that last sentence but for some reason I felt like putting a 🙂 because I feel like it’s an inside joke that’s not really a joke it’s actually really very serious. People are hoping and waiting for their dreams to come true and the truth of the matter is dreams never come true without hard work, discipline and consistency. I just left a meeting that was put on my schedule yesterday even though I already have a busy schedule but I knew it was important for me to go because it will help me to continue to build my dreams. That meeting will help my dreams come true. Before I got 100% focused on my goals, I would make excuses why I could not do something instead of making reasons why I could do something. The time is right now I don’t know how old you or I don’t know what the conditions are around you but every day that goes by you’re one day closer to your dreams coming true if you make it happen. Set your sights, get a plan and execute. The time is now!!
I believe you!
I believe you. I know you are telling the truth. It happened. You are not crazy. Your story matters.
When I was a child my siblings and I experienced abuse in all it’s many forms. We were told “what happens in this house stays in this house.” We were told to lie to social workers and law enforcement. My parents would argue and fight and then when the police got involved they lied and manipulated the system. There were times that the police were at our house multiple times per month. My father seriously acts like it never happened.
My father would come to our room in the middle of the night, get my sister out of bed and sexually abuse her and then act like nothing happened once he was confronted about his behavior. My dad would beat and abuse my mom and then leave for work only to come back with bags full of groceries and a smile on his face and behaving like nothing happened.
All of this happened yet my father convinced many neighbor’s, relatives and friends that it never happened. He is now married to a woman that he cheated on my mom with and even she is under the illusion that it never happened.
So why am I being so specific and sharing this more explicitly now and forever? I am doing this because after a conversation yesterday with my dad’s wife I saw how powerful lies and gaslighting can be. There are people’s whose lives have been destroyed because of people like my father. There are people living in quiet desperation because no one believes their story and they are tired of trying to tell their story only for their truth to be dismissed or swept under a rug. I am going to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth because people are dying and the cover ups and lies have to stop.
I know I am only one person but maybe just maybe if I tell the truth it will give others the opportunity to get help and get out of a horrible situation. I know what it is like to be in the grocery store and see a young girl with that “sad” look in her eyes because she can’t articulate what is happening to her body behind closed doors. I know what it looks like when a teenage girl is always acting “too fast” for her age because it is the only way she gets attention and affection. I know what it is like to feel the inner turmoil of an overweight girl that does well in school, is pleasant enough and well mannered but can’t quite find her place in the world because of the inner emotional detachment she has developed for survival. I know what it’s like to be beautiful, popular and seemingly happy yet feeling like a fraud because you are really unhappy at home. I know what it feels like when the only place you find joy is at school with your friends where no one touches you without consent and no one hits you.
You may ask am I mad, upset or angry and I can honestly say that at this very moment I am not. I am actually relieved. I am at peace and my father has been forgiven many years ago. I speak to him with no animosity in my heart. This post is not about him…this post is a love letter of support for all the girls, boys, women and men that have been abused and then told “it never happened.”
My dad is 82 and he is living a peaceful life with a woman that adores him because she too has been gaslighted into believing that nothing from our childhood ever happened. Believe it or not I am ok with her being delusional because he needs someone to take care of him and I believe that there is some good that he has shown her that allows her to believe his lies. I know from experience that the truth will not affect him or her in a negative way because they live in a constant state of deliberate delusion that allows their relationship to exist and keeps them happy together.
This is not about him or them. This is about you or someone you know that needs their voice to be heard. I have heard the crys at night. I have seen and felt the tears. I know the anger and frustration of not feeling like you are seen or heard. I lived it. I know what happened to you is real. It really did happen and your story will be told and I believe you.
Still moving in the right direction…
This is normal…I went down 2lbs in the last few days and this morning I was up 1lb but my clothes feel loser. It is not healthy nor is it recommended that you weigh yourself everyday and I will or course not do that anymore after the end of this month when I am finally out of the 200’s. Be good to yourself and have an amazing day!
206…moving in the right direction!
Simple but yummy breakfast! Spicy vegan sausage, 1 egg, 1 slice of vegan cheese on gluten free bread with guacamole! I love eating this kind of breakfast because I feel full longer! I will do my 7 min workout today and I meditate for 20 min:) Also healthy yummy food is a must…must include a healthy fat😀
Gottta drink my water. I feel good but I am not sure why it went up a little but that is ok. I know I have until the end the month but I just want to make sure that I stay on track early. Meaning staying on top of my food choices and making sure I get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. Have a great day and stay true to yourself.
208.6 real numbers
I was 210 yesterday and I am 208.6 today. I ate mostly clean yesterday. I will share with you what I am doing today…I am walking for 30 minutes and this evening I am doing 30-45 min of yoga(not good at it but it makes me feel good). I had gluten free French toast, salmon croquette and eggs with spinach, beans, a little cheddar and onions and a cup of coffee with almond milk. I feel really good today and I think that is because I am taking my apple cider vinegar and thyroid supplement before bedtime. I am also getting my sleep in and choosing not to worry about day to day normal business challenges. I am also allowing myself to take a few moments and just be silent. Oh, I almost forgot, I am drinking a gallon of water everyday and I know that helps me feel really good. I hope you have a great day. These posts about this weight journey will probably not be the most eloquent but they will be real and honest.
Still not out of the 200s
I have a goal!! I am so close but sometimes feel so far away. Sometimes I am such a chicken-shit when it comes to this journey…LOL!! I was supposed to be documenting this journey with this blog and then I got lazy. I got down to 203 and now I am back to 208. I actually don’t feel bad but I am a little disappointed that I am still in the 200s. I know that I am on the right track but I have not been consistent with eating properly and working out. So here goes…by the end of November I will be out of the 200s. Please hang out with me for the next 30 days and if you are so inclined please share your journey with me if you are on one.
Just A Thought
Racism is ALWAYS based on ignorance and fear!!
These are facts that unfortunately in the head of the ignorant will fuel their fear.
Fact! Because this country is made up of many different races and cultures over time this country will become browner.
Fact! Because we truly are a nation that progresses forward, we will move towards creating opportunities and providing opportunities to all people, not just one race, so wealth will be accumulated by people of color that choose to educate themselves, work hard, follow their dreams and never give up no matter how hard life gets.
Fact! People that consider themselves white supremacist usually are not very “supreme” in many areas of their life which include emotional intelligence which in turn is why they have to look at others to blame for the problems in their life or their percieved “the world is falling apart” mentality.
Fact! Minorities and people from other cultures on average have more children than non minorities which in turn affects the population. Many of the people that are born into these circumstances are choosing to work hard and do better for themselves thus learning to live their American dream which in turn makes those that are less willing to work hard get left behind in technology and in other fields.
Fact! The reason why this is in the news every day of the week is not because it’s fake news, it’s because as a country we thought we had moved past this. There are so many people that are outraged because we are determined to move in a direction where we have liberty and justice for all. We will not go back to the way things use to be.
Fact! As a country we always move forward towards unity and progress. We will always move towards inclusion and freedom. And for the people that are not accepting of this, they will be left behind regarless of who they are. They think they can change things and make us go backwards but as a country but we will always move forward. As a country regarless of what it looks like right now we will one day truly be the UNITED States of America.
And for the record I am absolutely NOT surprised when a snake bites. However I am surprised when honest, loving, caring, smart intelligent people allow snakes in their house and allow them to bite other people and say nothing or just bury their head in the sand.
If you don’t know what’s gonna happen when all this settles let me give you a hint…The civil war, the civil rights movement, marriage equality, the suffrage movement and WWll…. In the end love wins every single time…
My husband is white
My kids are biracial
My brother in law is from El Salvador (owns a business)
My mentor is Jewish
My other mentor is Indian
My grandmother is part Native American
My friend is part of the LGBTQ community
My crews are latino
I can go on and on…..
Also if you don’t like the way America is changing then you are welcome to go back to whatever country your ancestors came from unless of course they were Native American